Wednesday, January 11, 2012

What Women Want: Understanding Short Term Expectations

Women are not complicated. Women that don’t know what they want are complicated. So to help all the women who don’t know what they want yet and the men who don’t quite understand, I’m going to tell you what we want. I’ll speak in general terms here as there are always outliers that rebel against the female norm; keeping that in mind, women are quite simple. It’s the twenty-first century so we do want a lot of things; we want the great job, vacation time, and a comfortable life. All of that we can arguably have on our own so long as we are willing to put in the work. What we want is someone to share all of those realities with. Yet, any woman that can achieve those things isn’t going to settle for just any man. So we’ll look at what women want in a man. There are two parts to this, of course, as we want certain things from a man in the short term and others in the long term. Obviously, you’ll never get to see the light of the long term if you can’t hold onto her long enough to get past the third date so I’m going to give you a few tips on how to get her interest and keep it. (This post will specifically be about the short term; however, to keep this somewhat short. My next post will be about the long term.) There are three key points you want to keep in mind:
1.       Communication. Women want a man that can effectively communicate. For the short term, this is going to involve the type of communication you choose before, during, and after a date. For instance, don’t text; everyone texts. Instead, call- you’ll stand out. Balance will come in here in terms of how much communication is effective- This is why the phone call is usually best; texting can seem really long and drawn out where a call is concise and to the point. Plan a few days ahead of time and don’t bombard her in the meantime- you’ll leave her excited for the date. While on the date, follow the correct dating etiquette. Don’t talk about yourself the whole time, your exes, political beliefs or whatever. Try and make it about her while still allowing her to feel she’s learned something about you. After a date, if you say you’re going to call, call. I don’t believe there are any rules about waiting a few days. If you like her, call her. You don’t need to play hard to get by waiting a week, she’ll assume you’re not interested and move on to the next guy. Also, stay away from pet names. Seriously nothing puts you in the friend zone faster than honey, dear, or babe- Too soon.

2.       Pulling away from communication, every woman wants a man who can be decisive. Before the date, don’t interrogate her on where she wants to go or what she wants to do. There is nothing more attractive than a man who can plan a date from start to finish. If you stick to the fun classics, she won’t care what you choose- shell simply be impressed that you chose it for her. Women are control freaks in their everyday life so it’s always refreshing when a man can take charge. (Yes, most of you think you can/do, but you don’t! Let’s not kid ourselves, women rule the world).

3.       Next, is the all-important KISS. Keep it Simple Stupid. For the first date, stick to something neutral; nothing over the top, too romantic, or pricey. We aren’t all gold diggers so you don’t need to wine and dine us. It’s great if you have it, but it’ll only get you so far. (Watch any episode of Millionaire Matchmaker if you don’t believe me- all the money in the world can’t save some of those saps!). So save that for later dates. Let the first date be about getting to know each other and having fun. If you’re drinking- don’t drink too much! In planning the next get-together, if you like her enough to bring her around your friends- do it! Suggest that you get your friends and her friends to go out for a group thing! Every woman wants a man that can get along with her friends so by suggesting that you all go out puts the ball in your court and gives you the power to get their approval.  Letting her hang out with your friends while getting to know hers is the simplest way to her heart. And eventually the kiss... that's another one you want to keep simple. For a first kiss- no tonsil hockey and no pathetic pecks. Also, be aware of timing and location; you want to leave a lasting impression and don't force it.

So there you have it… There’s my best advice for men out there. It’s not complicated at all. It’s all about showing a little effort and understanding what she wants. In doing these three simple things, the chances of you getting the one thing you want, increase drastically. Try it out if you dont believe me. I expect some credit when you find it works!

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