Sunday, January 8, 2012
Along with all my posts regarding relationships, I want to bring up the topic of friendship between men and women. I have had this conversation over and over again with members of both sexes, and there doesn’t seem to be any consensus on the issue of whether men and women can simply be “just friends.” I personally have a lot of guys that I would consider just friends- probably more than I do girlfriends. It’s been very easy for me to have this type of relationship with men because I have always had a boyfriend so the friendship thing was always accepted as just that. However, now that I am single, the line seems to be quite blurred. Now, I can’t even begin to describe how many arguments I have had with people about the subject, and I am just now beginning to realize why. I have always believed that men and women can have a completely plutonic relationship. Yet, I am starting to learn that this is only possible when both parties are in agreement that they are just friends and have no expectations of anything further than that. I have a ton of friendships with men, and it is just obvious with no explanation needed that we are just friends. Still, discrepancies do develop within a friendship where that unspoken understanding hasn’t been established. One person may think that the relationship is simply one of friendship while another may think that guys and girls can’t be just friends so they develop deeper feelings. This has happened to me a couple times within the last few months, where I think that we are just friends and my “friend” thinks it is more than that. I may be completely clueless here, but I really don’t want to have to define every relationship I have with a man. Why can’t we be just friends? So here is where I would love some feedback because I have no idea what to do when a friend crosses the line and you just don’t feel the same way. Is that a point of no return and the friendship is over? Or can you come back from that and be “just friends”? I would love to not have to “break up” with a friend because of a miscalculation. I am a blunt person without much of a filter so feelings aren’t always spared when it comes to me being honest with a person. So if it is possible, how do I let a guy down without ruining the friendship? Is there even a nice way to do it? Or is it not possible; is it the case that once the line has been crossed there’s no going back? I’ve lost one friendship over this issue and I would like to spare others like it in the future so any feedback at all is encouraged and welcome. If you have a similar experience and have made it out alive please share!