That's What Friends Are For!

As I may have mentioned before but cannot express enough, I have the most incredible group of friends in the entire world. It is truly amazing and such a blessing to be surrounded by such remarkably beautiful women. Although they have entered into my life at different times, they have one thing in common: I love them with all of my heart. I have been told I am a bit of an old soul, and as such, the quality of my relationships has always been more important to me than the quantity. I might not have 1,000+ Facebook friends, (like my self-important, twin brother-BOOYA!) but I have found rare friendships in a few that will last me a lifetime. There is something special about having a connection that can stand the test of time and space; that no matter the amount of time or the distance between us, we are able to pick right back up where we left off. Our personalities and interests are all so different; it is really a surprise that we are drawn to each other like we are! Nevertheless, we share a common bond that awards us with the ability to support, encourage, and even inspire each other to become the very best possible versions of ourselves. And that is what they do for me, and what I hope to do for them. To have been able to grow with these women and witness their accomplishments and success has been the greatest gift of all. Seeing my friends happy makes me happy; and I don’t think I have ever been happier. I just want to say how fortunate and grateful I am for their friendship and love.

The Wolf Pack: A Look at the Male Hierarchy

There is something about being the only female in a group of all men. I find myself in the position fairly often, as I am simply attracted to the laid back atmosphere of the male social sphere and for whatever reason, am pleasantly, well-received in such a gathering. Although it is an environment I have become somewhat accustomed to, it has never been one which I fully understood. There are hierarchies and rules that accompany this general muster of testosterone and masculinity; rules and orders that do not apply to me at all. Here, instead, I am given the freedom and the privilege to simply observe the inner workings of what I am going to refer to, metaphorically, as the WOLF PACK! Amongst which are the obvious alpha males, aggressors, breeders, and outcasts. There are, of course, different levels within each group, but generally, this is what I have found to exist. Let’s start with the alpha. This is going to be the hot shot of the group. He thinks he’s better than everyone else and is going to treat you accordingly. He may or may not be a player, but he will act like he is one. There’s something about his confidence that will draw you in, but it is mostly the false arrogance and an ideal (which he can’t live up to) that makes him intriguing. He can be a good guy but only after he has established his dominance. I, personally, have yet to make up my mind about the alpha, as his leadership qualities and charm do hold some merit. The aggressors, next, are going to be the assertive, take-action type of men. Aggressors are the second-in-command behind the alpha; taking some lead but mainly look for a direction to follow. They are hands on and willing to put in the work to get the girl. There is nothing more exciting to them than the chase. So don’t let them catch you because the second you do, they’ll have felt a feeling of accomplishment, followed by boredom, before they move on. Then there are the breeders… Ahh the breeders...  These are your all-around good guys that generally find themselves in the “friend zone.” These men tend to be more down-to-earth and boyishly sensitive. They are competitive in their own right but will never steal the spotlight. Beyond the fraternities and bar scenes, they will go the distance for a woman. These are the men that will treat a woman right, if only she’d take notice. And lastly, there are the outcasts. This genre does require a mention of subparts because there are two specific kinds. First, there is the outcast that desperately wants in. They will do whatever it takes to make themselves known to the group; no matter how awkward and creepy they end up looking in the process. They will try and put every other man down in some way, so as to elevate their status within the pack; however, it never seems to work. And second, there is the outcast that simply accepts his position as the outcast and will remain on the outskirts of the pack. This type of outcast won’t try to climb the social ladder, as he is content with the fact that he is a part of a pack at all. That’s it. Men are as simple as that. Now in using the wolf pack as my metaphor of choice, I realize that I have equated men to dogs, but I think I have done so fairly. I would find it hard to dispute the existence of such a pecking order among men. I don’t claim to understand how men understand and adopt the roles they assume, but I will go so far as to say that the order does exist. So next time you’re out, I double-dog dare you to stop and take notice of which type of man is barking up your tree.

Correcting Car-Care Ignorance

Okay, this post will most likely be completely uninteresting to readers; nonetheless, I think it is an important issue. In my attempt to become a self-sufficient, independent woman, I feel it is necessary to talk about car maintenance. Now, cars mean very little to me (Unless it involves a cowboy in a pickup.) If it gets me from point A to point B and looks relatively good, I am a happy camper. I don’t understand horsepower, and I can’t tell a carburetor from a radiator. Yet, it is an investment that does require proper upkeep. I hate bringing my car into the shop for minor concerns because they always try and take advantage of my ignorance. So to prevent future visits, I have recruited my dad to show me the ins and outs of simple car maintenance. Accordingly, I want to focus on the triple threat of straightforward car care: engine, tires, and the battery. For every woman like me, I’m going to pass on a little wisdom about each that will hopefully keep you out of the car repair shop. When dealing with her responsibilities, every real woman should be willing to get a little down and dirty! That’s what showers are for! First, let’s keep the engine in good shape. OIL, OIL, OIL. Check the oil. Once a month, make a note to check the oil to make sure there’s enough fluid to keep you going. Don’t be afraid to go into the gas station, buy a bottle of engine oil for super cheap, and top it off yourself. Refer to your manual if you’re unsure how to check the oil or what type of oil you need (Feel free to insert dipstick joke here.) Next, check your tire pressure. This is necessary when the weather changes. So if you’re from St. Louis, I suggest you become friends with your wheels. You can find a pressure gauge just about anywhere. If you look on the inside of your driver’s side door, it will tell you how many PSIs are necessary to keep your tires full. Depending on if there is too much or too little, you will need to take action. You can go to any gas station to either pump air or deflate it. Turns out I have a leak in mine so I will need to take the car in after all :-(. Lastly, we have the battery. Now today I spent a bit of time cleaning off some battery corrosion, but my dad gave me a little quick-fix way to do it. Don’t spend a ton of money on sprays and lubes. Baking soda, water, a steel wool pad, and some Vaseline are all you need, and it won’t cost you more than $10. If you have corrosive buildup on your battery, alternate pouring baking soda and water on the accumulation and watch it eat away. Use the wool pad if you need to get in there good. Wipe it away and it should be good as new. Then coat the plugs in the Vaseline to prevent oxidation and further, future corrosion. Hopefully, now you can feel more comfortable tackling simple auto-related responsibilities and can be on your way to being a self-sufficient woman! Good luck!

Redefining the EX Factor

Love; to me, it is arguably the most astounding concept in the world. This act of giving yourself to one person for the rest of your life is, not to sound cheesy but beautiful. It is a hard, messy, complicated process of falling in and out of love- as we test the waters trying to find that one person that we can accept and adore completely. While there are 6.5 billion people on this planet, we choose just ONE. This means that every other person in the world just isn’t the perfect fit for us. Here is where I want to redefine some things and offer a new perspective. They say practice makes perfect. So why is it that the “EX” is given such an awful reputation?  These exes were once loved, and they played a special role in shaping who we have become as lovers to the next. So why is there such a negative connotation at work here? They were obviously exceptional enough for us to even consider them for such a part as, “the one.” Drawing from my own experiences, I will not say anything bad about my infamous EX. We loved each other. However, people change and sometimes they grow a part, rather than together. Things happened that tore us a part, but neither person really had any mal-intent in their choices or actions. He has set a standard now for every other man to live up to, and I am grateful for that. So what if he didn’t make the cut? Statistically, he had a better chance of being struck by lightning in the basement of his house while wearing a rubber scuba suit. 1: 6,500,000,000. When you look at it that way, how can you possibly say anything bad about an EX? In moving on, they left room for you to find that one person. My ex, I believe, has found his “one” in another, and I couldn’t be happier for him. And why can’t we be happy for each other? Why does someone always have to be the bad guy? I’m tired of hearing the horror stories of the exes, and I think it is time we change our tune on how we look at the ones that didn’t turn out to the “the one.” I'd like to argue that they may not be as bad as the label would claim them to be.

Celebrating the Minute Hand

With New Year’s Eve being just a few days away, my phone is being blasted with questions over my plans for the evening. Now, I never really understood the hype around New Years. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t really need an excuse to go out with friends, drink too much, and kiss men at midnight. Sounds like a typical Friday night to me. So what is the big deal? We wake up one morning, and it’s Saturday; we wake up the next and it’s a Sunday. The big deal must be in the change, then, from 2011 to 2012. But even that doesn’t make sense because who really wants to celebrate getting another year older? (Okay, I do love celebrating my birthday, but that’s for entirely different reasons!) Bars are charging these outrageous covers, friends are booking hotel rooms, and we are all looking for that special someone to help bring in the new year with a bang! No pun intended. WHY though? Is the night really just an excuse to do things we normally wouldn’t do? In trying to answer my own question, I’m going to admit I might have been wrong (this rarely ever happens). This one night when the clock’s minute hand turns into a symbolic “F-U” to the drama of the past year, and a representation of all the good things to come, what’s not to celebrate? This may be the first New Year’s Eve that I am looking forward to doing something I normally wouldn’t do. I am going to celebrate the minute hand. I am going to say goodbye to the drama and welcome the unknown! Let me know what your plans are for the new year and why you intend to celebrate the minute hand.

Clinginess Aint Next ta Godliness

Alright, I’ll admit I’ve been off the market here for a while, and I’m a bit out of the loop on all things dating… But what is with the clinginess, gentleman? Seriously, if I’m in the same room as you, why do you feel the need to have your arm around me all night or rub my shoulders as if you’re doing me a favor? If I am interested in you, I will let you know. If I want you to touch me, you’ll know it.   You don’t have to stake your claim or mark your territory like I’m some fire-hydrant for you to piss on.  No one likes PDA. You can save all the touching and rubbing for the bedroom.  Some guys just really need to work on finding a balance between showing interest and stalking a girl. While we’re in public, let me do my thing. When we are behind closed doors, I promise you’ll get my undivided attention! Key to a second date= BALANCE or for those who cant take a hint: leave me the F*** alone!

STRONG IS THE NEW SEXY

For my very FIRST post, I thought I would talk about everyone's favorite subject: SEX! Or rather what is SEX-y! I saw this quote awhile back, "STRONG IS THE NEW SEXY!" And I loved it! I am never going to be a size 0, with 6-pack abs, and Double Ds- and let’s face it- most of us aren’t.  And I think that’s okay. I’m not saying that isn’t sexy- I mean I’d kill Tom Brady to look like Gisele. But, I think as women, we forget that not every man is Tom Brady… and there is more than one kind of sexy! And I’d argue that strong is about as sexy as a woman can get! …AND! Strength is something any woman can have.  The fact that strength can be harnessed in basically any facet of life makes sexy so easy-whether it’s at work, the gym, or at play! Like I said, I am not freakin’ Barbie, and I am certainly no Victoria’s Secret model. After breaking up with my boyfriend, I never would have guessed that guys would be lighting up my phone wanting to take me out. The thought had literally never occurred to me that men could find me sexy… But I am sexy as hell! WHY? Because I found my strength… my sense of humor: dry, quick-witted sarcasm… gets ‘em every time!  So for my first post- I challenge you to find what your strength is- and when you do- comment on this post and let us know what makes you sexy!