My
friend made a comment to me during the conversation that really surprised me.
He said that in knowing the way I look at relationships and at life, that he couldn’t
believe that I haven’t had any success in the relationship-department since JD;
that, and I quote, “you seem like every guy's dream.” I was just really taken
aback because 95% of the time I feel like I get put into the “friend zone,”
mainly because I probably do think more like a typical man than a woman. As
sweet as that comment was, it comes down to the simple fact that I don’t want
to be anyone’s dream girl right now. Eventually I would love to be, and as
simple as relationships are, it takes the right person to make the right
relationship work. And I’m willing to wait for that person to come around rather
than jumping into something with someone that I know isn’t right for me.
I
think I have seen enough relationships that just go through the motions. I see
those relationships all the time; the unfulfilled ones. The relationships
that are built singlehandedly on comfort; out of fear that that relationship is
the best they can do; out of fear of being alone. These relationships can often
times be full of respect and support, but the passion and the love just doesn’t quite
find its place. People go through the infatuation stage, get comfortable and
decide to settle down. Once they settle down, they get married and have kids and
“live life” (if that’s what you want to call it). And as deep as this sounds we
just started talking about how we wanted more than that. All of those things
sound great don’t get me wrong, and I want those things. But I want more.
I
want someone who will be a free spirit with me; someone playful that recognizes
that I’m not some delicate little girl and that will rough-house with me and
joke around. I want someone that will go on an adventure with me. And I don’t mean
a safari or something like that. I mean someone that can bring me to life- in every passionate, loving, playful way possible.
It’s
corny, but I really believe that every life is meant to be a great love story.
Whether it’s with yourself, with your job, with God or a hobby. As long as you
love something with everything you are, than you have that great love story. I
know that my greatest love will be another person. I know that I have the
ability to love another person in a way that is incomprehensible to most. If I
do nothing else in life, I will make that other person feel what it is to be
completely and unconditionally loved. And this person will have the ability to reciprocate
that feeling. It may sound completely corny and cliché, but that is how my life
will be. And because I will have that fulfillment, I will be successful in
everything else. And that’s why I haven’t had any successful relationships as
of late. I’m not ready for that yet. But when I am and that person comes along…
it will be something great. The great thing about a great love between two people
is that it is bigger than anything.
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